Black Love – Part 2

In the area of social media, lack of courtship, the disappearance of parents in their children’s relationships, and the increase of sci-fi movie thrillers, black love is not lost but yet transformed into this entertainment driven reality show of sorts. In an era where Black love is either an Instagram page hash tag or sewn across the brim of a baseball cap, the notion is exploited. Getting that out the way, black love today in 2017 is less “Brown Sugar” or “Love Jones” and more “Love and Hip Hop” and “Basketball Wives”, and let’s not forget these now “PROM-posals” for the younger folks out here. Beginning with this intro into black love through the eyes of my mid-adult 26 -year young life, I fear an element of our past is lost, AND forgotten.

I want to begin by saying that I absolutely love my own girlfriend. Love to us is compatibility through appearance, spirituality, individual successes, patient understanding and how we are viewed by our peers. We are an item, a force, a team. In today’s era of black love, we are a type of couple that works hard for each other to innovate ideas that invigorate newfound love and adoration for each other. Take birthdays for example. My girlfriend surprised me with not only a party but a hand drawn comic cover rendition of ourselves as superheroes. The art of learning your partner’s world is lost in a time where courtship is taboo and third base is a click of a like button or a swipe right or left, on your smart phone. In my relationship, we remix our love to create spontaneity each moment we can, not because we want to, but in the modern era of digital cupid, we need to because social media glorifies shapely clad women and expensive gym membership complimentary with small size clothing men. It is important to find importance in learning your partner’s world, so that the memories shared are some that the two can look back on and ask your own peers, “You’re waiting on what exactly to ride a hot air balloon, or have a surprise picnic in the park?”

Love is not to be made a spectacle, it’s an energy that should be respected, longed for, and felt. An overwhelming positive pull from your partner and to those connected to your relationship. Black love is beautiful. Back in my day, it was very important to court the female you are attempting to peak her interest. As men, we should refrain from shaming and bashing a female who is negative to your approach. Men are not doing their homework on the person that is female. A female should be studied, should be researched, the more you know about the subject the better your chances of peaking the person’s interest, and creating a smooth entry in getting to know this docile yet potentially wonderful, human being. That element of “doing your homework” is lost, due to instant gratification from answering a DM (Direct message) with a phone number sent within it or a series of likes on Instagram. Men are not going the extra mile anymore, and by far are not approaching young women with a sincere approach, with the purpose to not waste HER time. Black love is a hard love. It’s a trying love. It’s a love that takes time due to our historical backgrounds and possibly the environmental and household background are at play; but when achieved, it’s a thing of resonance and flair.

The method of achieving black love is a pathway of patience, observation, trying times, and celebration. Black love is a love that is inspirational. This love is a love that dictates good or great investment. Love though, for me in my community can be better. The love we have for each other is one that is very judgmental and not supportive towards achievement. To our women, they are items that depreciate in value, are temporary, or used and abused for your chauvinistic gain. We must do better. Black love, is a love story that can guarantee generational benefits and cooking recipes only the likes of, “yo’ mama’s, mama’s, mama can create!”. Seek black love reader, do not lose it in the hoopla of thinking it will come with marriage.

Tremayne Ffriend