Black Love – Part 1

Love still reigns

One thing that still reigns true, love is special. Finding that special one as your mate is not easy but if you’re one of the lucky ones, you’ll find your loved one and cherish them. There’s a great book called the Five Languages of love, the speaks to the idea that people learn what love is in their language, the five languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Meeting your spouses needs is a daily decision, continue to keep it passionate. Communicate with your spouse in their love language, if you don’t know which one is hers….just ask.

Should it be socially traditional?

The idea of living with your partner before marriage is probably a good idea. You can never really know a person until you live in close confines with them. Roommates could be considered a bit of a test drive of sorts. Do you enjoy each others presence for extended periods of time.

Sex before marriage has long been an unaccepted practice. That boundary has long come down. In todays age its more of a matter of what type of sex is acceptable. What type of sex do I prefer. What are my boundaries. What should I explore before I’m ready to settle down. Ethical non-monogamy is a growing relationship trend.

Children before marriage is becoming more and more of a preference. Women are staying in school longer, taking on careers of their own. The idea of stopping their career to raise a family is not a growing aspiration. The amount of unmarried men and women is on the increase, but sex is still as prevalent as ever.

Should it be exclusively Black?

In a time not too long ago the idea of dating outside of the black boundaries was considering taboo. A little while longer than that it was actually illegal. There’s well documented stories of suffering and even death tied to dating outside of the race. But the new rule book doesn’t play to the end. Today young black men and women are not only living in communities with blacks exclusively, being educated with other cultures, and working with other races….today dating outside the race is quiet normal.

The impact of the internet

Social media can be a way to show the world your love is real. It can also be the source of ruin. Social media is both. In your grandfathers era he didn’t have to worry about an ex flame slipping into his DM (direct message). He didn’t have to worry about a crush commenting on a photo and his wife seeing it before even he does and coming to unfiltered conclusions.

Online dating is very prevalent in this era. Men and women can connect with like minded individuals. And apps takes it to the next level, not only connecting with women on the internet but connecting with women physically in a geographical area in close proximity. I’m 36 now, when I was in high school when you went through a breakup with your girlfriend you were devastated… right after that breakup you can reach in your pocket, pull out a device and instantly chat with women from around your neighborhood, your city, your state or from the other side of the planet. You may even connect with a woman who is busy with her career or business, doesn’t have time for your life story or your emotion and she just wants your physical body for her needs so she can get back to her grind.

New times. Be yourself. Adapt to the changing times.

Jerrod Delaine